


Anthro Bowser in Leather Pants

by rynling



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Human Bowser, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-08
Updated: 2012-09-08
Packaged: 2017-11-13 19:47:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/507080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rynling/pseuds/rynling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bowser has devised a new scheme to kidnap Peach, but the princess's reaction is surprising, and sexy funtimes ensue. Why? Because Bowser and Peach are a match made in crack heaven, that's why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anthro Bowser in Leather Pants

Bowser gazed at himself in the mirror.

Kamek, the head of his squadron of Magikoopas, had outdone himself this time.

"Eat this magic mushroom," Kamek had told him, "and you will wake up a new man." Cackling, Kamek had placed the mushroom in Bowser's paw before flying out of the throne room. _What a drama queen_ , Bowser thought.

Now Bowser could better appreciate Kamek's maniacal chortles. The image reflected in the mirror was not a dragon with horns and teeth and claws, but rather a human... with horns and teeth and claws. Bowser's hair and eyes were still bright red, but he had lost a significant portion of his height and girth. _How annoying_ , he thought, poking at one of his biceps. The flesh was not soft, but it was not impenetrable, either. His claws were less pointy, and it seemed as though he had grown a fifth finger on each hand. His feet had more toes, and his legs seemed unnecessarily long. He bent his back from side to side and then leapt into the air. He was much more flexible – perhaps this was how Mario had been able to defeat him over and over again. Bowser had to admit that being human had its advantages.

Bowser gathered his breath and blew a thin stream of flame toward the mirror. The glass clouded from the heat. He was glad that still worked, at least. He snarled at himself. His fangs were still sharp. His spiked tail had disappeared and been replaced by a monkey butt. _Furred mammals are ridiculous creatures_ , Bowser observed.

Speaking of ridiculous, what was all this dangly nonsense between his legs? He flicked it and winced. This was inconvenient. Bowser scowled and looked at himself again. There were two more useless appendages on his chest. Now what are these for, Bowser wondered. If he were a female, presumably they would be bigger, he thought, recalling Princess Peach. The thing between his legs stiffened. Bowser grinned. It was time to get this day started.

*   *   *   *   *

The plan, Bowser explained to Noko, the koopa in charge of reconnaissance and covert appropriation, was to confuse the Mushroom Kingdom officials by taking on a different form. They would send Mario on a wild goose chase, at which point he would be left alone with the princess.

"Excellent plan, Your Majesty," said Noko, who had weathered her fair share of Bowser's idiotic schemes.

Noko watched as Kamek decked Bowser out in his own deranged conception of human clothing. A black starched shirt with a military collar, a tailored vest with silver detailing, and black leather pants. What terrible taste. There was no way that anyone looking at the koopa king wouldn't be able to guess who he was immediately. Noko sighed. At least the princess might get a kick out of this.

*   *   *   *   *

As usual, the kidnapping operation went smoothly. Even if Mario always threw a wrench in his plans eventually, Bowser knew he could rely on his kingdom's superior technology. _They didn't even hear me coming_ , he gloated to himself as he entered the chamber where Peach had been confined on his orders.

As soon as he pushed the door open, Bowser stepped back and ducked as a vase flew over his head and shattered against the wall behind him. He normally would have allowed the projectile to hit him, but special allowances had to be made for this body.

Bowser stepped over the threshold. He smiled as wide as he could in an attempt to show off as many of his teeth as possible. Peach picked up a paperweight from the desk behind her and lobbed it at him. Bowser caught it easily. It was rather nice to have quicker reflexes.

"Damn it, Bowser," Peach yelled at him. "You have the worst timing. Why did you have to do this right when I was in the middle of negotiations with the Yoshis? We'd been working on that treaty for days."

Bowser tossed the paperweight up and caught it as it came down. "Those little fuckers are trouble, aren't they," he said. "They eat everything they see and breed like rabbits. Quite a drain on the environment, I understand. Still, we've found a way to deal with them quite efficiently." He made a show of licking his lips. Having lips to lick amused him greatly.

"You are absolutely intolerable!" Peach banged her fist on the desk. "I don't suppose you even care how many weeks this is going to set us back."

"Of course I don't care. It's not as if preventing an alliance between two neighboring kingdoms much richer in natural resources than my own would be of any interest to me."

"Don't try to pull that shit with me. We know you're having scouts sent into the western territories with the intent of colonization."

"Then you know as well as I do that nothing lives there save dinosaurs and tar worms. Perhaps if someone didn't insist on maintaining such high tariffs, we wouldn't be having this little problem."

"Give it up, Bowser. We've been through this already."

"Then you can just stay kidnapped. It's not as if Mario will know where to find you this time!" Bowser guffawed theatrically.

Peach leaned against the desk and put her hand over her face in exasperation. "You are such an idiot."

Bowser stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "What, you're not impressed?" He spread his arms, gesturing at himself. "I thought you would be impressed."

Peach crossed her arms and frowned at him. "I'm impressed that your airships made it through our radar field without detection. If I'm not mistaken, the heavy mist was also your doing."

"Pretty neat, right? What good is a king if he can't control the weather?"

"I don't know whether you've executed all the smart people in your kingdom or whether you're all just born stupid, but one would think that you'd put your technology to better use. Did it ever occur to you that terraforming your lands might be a better way to spend your resources than kidnapping another kingdom's sovereign?"

"Pardon our ignorance, Princess, but if it were as easy as that, don't you think we'd have done it by now? Maybe my kingdom would have fared better if it were full of happy little peasants like yours."

Peach turned her back to Bowser. "This conversation is over."

"Come on, don't be so uptight."

"It's time for you to leave. I'm going to put together a revised treaty while I wait for Mario. Now if you'll excuse me."

"You'd think I'd get a little more respect from you. Aren't I intimidating? You should be intimidated."

Peach spun around. "I'm sorry," she said briskly, stepping toward Bowser, "but if you think I would be intimidated by some foppishly dressed lout who doesn't even know how to file his own fingernails, then you have a serious lack of development in the cognitive department. Do your keepers know you leave your castle looking like that?"

"Fair enough. But while we're on the subject of fashion disasters, where'd you get that lovely pink gown? Did you pick that out all by yourself, or did your mommy help you? Nothing sends a message of authority like being dressed like a six-year-old wannabe princess at a birthday party, right? And by the way, it makes your butt look big."

Peach strode over to Bowser and slapped him across the face.

Bowser put a hand to his cheek. "Ow," he said, genuinely surprised. "That hurt."

"How about that," Peach smiled sweetly. "You don't have your size and that ridiculous spiked shell to lend credence to your bullying. Now you're just a plain old garden variety dickhead."

Bowser nudged his cheek with one of his knuckles. It stung.

"Being human sucks," he remarked.

"If you think that sucks, wait until you feel this." Peach darted forward, aiming a kick at Bowser's lower torso. Bowser, having anticipated her attack, swiftly moved to the side and caught her leg. Peach lost her balance and fell. An unpleasant sound rang out as her head hit the stone floor.

"Oh shit," Bowser muttered as he dropped her leg. He knelt beside her. She wasn't moving. He was in trouble now. If she woke up, he would be in the doghouse. If she didn't wake up, his entire kingdom would be in the doghouse.

He put a hand on her chest. She was still breathing. "I didn't really mean it about your dress," he offered. There was no response.

 _Okay_ , he thought to himself. _Okay, I can do this._ He put his arms around her and carefully lifted her. Thanks to his new body, she felt heavier than usual, but it wasn't any trouble at all for him to carry her to the bed in the far corner of the room. His mind raced as he laid her down on top of the coverlet. He would have to find Kamek, and fast. Any Magikoopa would do, but Bowser didn't want news of this leaking out. He needed to apologize to Peach, but first he needed to return to his own form as quickly as possible. Still, he thought, gazing at her sleeping face. Still, he could delay just a moment. After all, he might not get another chance. Bowser leaned over Peach and kissed her, letting his lips linger on hers.

As he lifted his face, he saw Peach looking at him. She grinned. "I knew it," she said.

Bowser felt his face turn inexplicably warm. "Don't take this the wrong way," he sputtered.

Peach sat up and rubbed the back of her head. "Oh? And how am I supposed to take it?"

Bowser scowled. "What, isn't there some payoff for being so handsome? Consider yourself lucky to be kissed by someone as dashing as myself. Look, I'm leaving. You already know where everything is in this castle. Make yourself at home."

"No, wait." Peach grabbed Bowser's wrist. "You're not going anywhere until I'm sure that I don't have a concussion."

"Fine," Bowser said, sitting down beside her. He was at a loss for words. "How does your head feel?"

"It hurts, obviously. And this could just be the brain damage, but I thought I heard you say you liked my dress."

"That's not what I said."

"Then I won't apologize for calling you a fop."

"Listen, I think maybe we got this conversation off on the wrong foot. Why don't I just leave you here to recover, and we can talk later." Bowser started to stand up. He was extremely uncomfortable. It wasn't just his face that was hot; his whole body felt overheated. If this was the way humans responded to stress, he wanted none of it.

"Hmm, maybe," Peach said, "but first you need to lose that stupid vest." Drawing close to Bowser, she reached behind him and undid the clasps of his waistcoat, which fell to the ground. She appraised him. "Much better."

Bowser glared at her. "Don't insult my fashion sense."

"When have you ever had a sense of fashion?" Peach laughed as she placed her palms against his chest.

Bowser felt his face turning as red as his hair. "Are you sure you didn't suffer brain damage?"

Peach laughed even harder. "Of course, I must have. That must be why I allow myself to be kidnapped. That's why I don't just declare war on you and your silly turtle kingdom."

"You're one to talk, mushroom girl."

"Shut up." Peach smiled.

"You shut up." Bowser put his arms around her and kissed her.

Bowser didn't know how long he sat there with his lips on hers. When she slipped her tongue into his mouth, he thought his head might explode. How incredible, what these humans did. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that he was getting into a world of trouble, but he couldn't stop himself. _This woman must be manipulating me_ , he thought, putting his hand on the back of her head to draw her closer. Peach's body pressed against his, and he groaned into her mouth.

She drew away from him. "It seems you are human, after all," she murmured as she darted her eyes down to his waist.

Bowser stared at her, trying to catch his breath as waves of sensation passed through him.

Peach had no trouble picking up on the look of blind panic on Bowser's face. Her smile relaxed, and she leaned away from him. "Who would have thought," she mused, as if to herself. "The great King Koopa, a novice in the bedroom."

"My species isn't as hot-blooded as yours," he scowled.

"I've never inquired about the details. How short-sighted of me."

Short-sighted? Bowser was taken aback.

Peach leaned back against the pillows. "We can stop this now, if you want."

Bowser paused to consider her proposal and quickly arrived at the conclusion that he most certainly did not want to stop.

He climbed onto the bed and kissed her again. She laughed and began unbuttoning his shirt.

Feeling her fingers on his chest, Bowser suddenly wanted Peach's dress off of her.

"I really do love that dress," he said, taking her hands in his, "but I don't want to look at it right now."

"Whatever you say, Your Majesty." Peach unfastened her tiara and handed it to Bowser.

"I'll take that, Your Highness," Bowser said, watching wide-eyed as Peach removed herself from her dress in a series of lacy movements.

"You're staring," she said.

"I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you before."

"Oh really."

"I mean, I've never seen an unclothed human female before." Bowser's pants suddenly felt tight and uncomfortable.

"How you flatter me," Peach said, unbuttoning them.

Bowser kicked off his pants and kissed her. She lay back and pulled him down with her. He ran his hand over her stomach and down her thigh, glorying in how smooth she was. With his eyes closed, all he could feel were his mouth, his hand, and his cock.

"What happens now?" he asked, looking down at Peach. It was hard to speak.

"Well, you could try this," she answered, placing her mouth over one of his nipples. A flash of pleasure raced through him. Pushing Peach's mouth away from his chest, he grasped her breasts in his hand. Suddenly he was hyper-aware of his teeth and claws. This would be tricky. Focusing on one of Peach's perfect rosy peaks with his hand, he kissed the other, being careful to use only his tongue. In his excitement, he squeezed her breast, and Peach cried out. Bowser looked at her face in alarm. She seemed like she was in pain.

"Are you all right?" he asked her quietly.

"No, I'm not all right," she whispered, "I want more." She took his hand and placed it between her legs.

To Bowser's surprise, she was wet. He was intrigued. _Curious_ , he thought. He ran one of his fingers back and forth over the thin fabric of Peach's underwear, and the skin of her upper thighs broke into goosebumps. He applied his entire palm to the area, and she arched her back to meet his hand. Repeating the motion, he watched her face. She still seemed to be in pain, but she clung to him even tighter. _Humans are such fascinating creatures_ , he thought, slipping his hand into her underwear.

At the naked touch of her, the throbbing between his legs overwhelmed his consciousness. He wanted to dig into her and devour her, but koopa mating behaviors would destroy the woman underneath him. Even though he found it hard to breathe, he had to take care not to use his teeth and claws. He could touch her on the outside, but not on the inside. Although her mouth was on his mouth, and her tongue on his tongue, he could not bite her. Even as he considered this, he felt himself losing control. His hand moved faster as he breathed into her.

Suddenly, she caught his hand. "No," she murmured. "Not yet, not like this." She moved her hand away from his and used it to circle his cock. Peach lay below him, and he kissed her as he freed her from her underwear. She guided him into her.

Bowser thrust forward and had to bite back a moan of pleasure. His arms lost their strength, and he almost fell on top of Peach. Is this what humans felt all the time? This was dangerous. When koopas coupled, the male would never reach his climax before the female. Yet he was so close, and every nerve in his body was alert. How could humans be so sensitive? If he just moved slowly, perhaps he could control himself.

Bowser lay over Peach, trying to regulate his breathing as he moved his waist. She felt so good, and the sounds she made were delicious. He slipped in and out of her, pressing his nose against her ear. Her hair and skin were so luscious, and so soft. The pleasure was overwhelming, and he began to lose control again. He couldn't help it.

As he thrust deeper and deeper into her, Bowser felt Peach begin to tighten around him, and then he couldn't stop. The only thing in the world was her, and all he could do was force himself into her as she cried out and clung to him. He roared as he came. Her hands dug into his back, and he felt as if he were being split in half.

When he could think again, he was still making shallow thrusts, and she was still trembling around him. He sighed and eased himself away from her. He could feel her lips smiling into his neck. They were both quiet for a few moments as they listened to each other breathe.

Finally, Bowser spoke. "How was it, being fucked by a king?"

"It was suitably regal, especially when you were pathetically trying to stop yourself from coming."

"You weren't exactly dignified yourself, Princess."

"You talk about such things as if you've always been human."

"I'm getting used to it."

"We should do this more often, then."

"Like when?"

"Like right now."

Peach flipped Bowser over and sat on top of him. To his complete lack of surprise, he grew hard again almost instantly. Peach grinned down at him. "Let's see how long you can keep yourself going this time."

*   *   *   *   *

Afterwards, Peach and Bowser lounged in the bath. Bowser, who was more accustomed to lava than water, was thoroughly enjoying himself. The pair sipped champagne out of tall glasses provided by Peach, who always kept such things in the overnight bag she left at her bedside as preparation for the not infrequent event of a kidnapping. Bowser, who had never been affected by alcohol before, was becoming pleasantly tipsy.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Mario ran in, shouting, "Princess, I have-a come to save... you... " His voice trailed off as he took in the scene in front of him.

Peach threw her free arm across her breasts. "Mario! What are you doing here?!" she cried.

Noko rushed in after Mario. "I tried to keep him away, Your Majesty," she apologized, "but he was very insistent."

"Oh for-a fuck's sake," Mario said.

Mario and Bowser glared at each other.

"So sorry, asshole," Bowser smirked, "but your princess is staying in this castle."


End file.
